I'm not Perfect nor is my Weight Loss Journey.

I promised I would share my weight loss journey with you. And I will. Mine isn't one of beauty like you see in all the TV commercials or about how easy it is to lose weight. I started my weight loss journey on April 8, 2013 weighing 210.8 pounds. And I did lose weight! On April 13, 2013 I was weighing 204 pounds. But as of today May 3, 2013 I am weighing 210.4 pounds. See I have failed. I'm just like mostly every other woman in this world and I gave in to all my temptations. I didn't lie to you when I said I love sugar-filled foods. I do! And I am lazy. And scared! It's gotten so easy to hid behind my weight. And yes, I see that sprinkle covered donut and think, well, I am already this big what's one more donut going to do. Do you think that? Well, STOP! It's killing us! My weight is affecting EVERYTHING in my life! I am so unhappy with who I have become! Please know this - it's ok to fail, and start over again. I did!
Guess what? I put my tenni shoes on this morning, grabbed my iPod, and a bottle of water and went downstairs and I got on that elliptical! YES! I DID! For the very first time! I went to the Women Of Faith conference last weekend and right in the middle of it one of the guest speakers said, "Just 5 minutes on the elliptical, that's all." And I knew with every fiber in my being that was God speaking to me through her. I had been saying those same words for 2 YEARS! And yet, never did it! Never once got on that elliptical. I am so happy to say I did! This morning! I did that 5 minutes on my elliptical.  5 minutes is such a small amount of time, but for me it was huge! I don't exercise. And yes, I thought I was going to die, seriously, no lie, my legs were killing me! The last minute I was praying. Praying for God to give me strength. To give me the faith I need in myself to FINISH this! I needed to finish that 5 minutes so badly so I can know I did and know that tomorrow when I do that 5 minutes it won't hurt as bad and soon before I know it I'll be knocking out an hour on it.
This morning I sat down and started reading, Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. I am a Christian and I now know that what I am craving isn't food, it's God. But instead of listening I was stuffing myself with food. Also, I am an emotional eater, and I have some issues going on in my life that are really difficult to handle and I feel as if they are so out of my control. So what did I do, I controlled the one thing I can control, what goes into my body. And I was filling it full of foods that gave me a moment of satisfaction and a whole night's worth of guilt. From now on, instead of stuffing my emotions full of food, I am going to voice my emotions. Do you feel sorry for my family? My husband? I do. I am about to become a crying mess. I have a lot of stuff bottled up that I am going to start releasing. And I started last night with my husband. And yes, I went to bed crying. But guess what? I felt so refresh this morning. The Lord spoke to me last night. I was begging him to tell me what to do. And he spoke one word so LOUD in my head. One beautiful word. I had heard of people saying God had spoke to them, and I am not going to lie, I thought they were crazy! And thought, oh, ya right. But he does! I was at an all time low last night. The lowest I have ever been. And I went to my Lord in prayer. And he was there, he was listening.
Today is a new beginning! A new start! I, as Lysa said in her book, finally admitted the truth that what I eat matters. My weight is a direct reflection of my choices and the state of my health. My weight issues are directly linked to my food choices. Period. I am admitting it and I am going to do something about it.
We crave what we eat. 5 little words. But WOW! Makes sense doesn't it? I eat donuts, I crave donuts. Duh!!! It has just taken me 30 years to figure this out! If I make healthier choices, I'll crave healthier foods. I am going to go grocery shopping and my kids are in for a shocker! There will not be any more sugar filled nastiness in our home. For forever, probably not. But for a while, YES! I need to remove all temptations until I have enough strength to know I won't cave in and eat a zebra cake.
I feel so strong that I am going to lose the weight but at the same time lose all the baggage I carry around with me wrapped up in my weight. I feel it throughout my whole being. Not only will I become a new person, physically, but mentally, and spiritually. And I know once I do this it will then go into to all my other areas in my life. I will become a better wife, a better mother, and a better person. Why, because this time I am allowing God to direct me. Will I still make mistakes, you betcha. I am only human and we are not perfect.
But I am at my lowest low in all areas of my life. And the only path for me to follow is UP! And as I follow this path, I know God will be right there beside me and at times carrying me, just like he carried me those last 30 seconds today on the elliptical, when I so badly just wanted to stop to give up. To cave in and say tomorrow I'll do it, but we all know that tomorrow I wouldn't. So the Lord carried me through and tomorrow I will go back downstairs and get back on that elliptical and do it all over again.
So see it's ok to fail and to accept that we are failures and to start over and accept that we can be winners!

The Chore Chart Has Made it's Way into our Home!

What is one word that brings every single person, old or young, man or woman to magically become invisible? Who wants to give me a C-H-O-R-E? What's that spell? Chore. Everybody hates chores! This month we have decided to start chore charts in our home and we decided to pay our children every Friday if they have completed all their chores for that week. They can earn up to $5 a week, & for an 8 and 7 year old that's a LOT of money! The first week went GREAT! This last week they only earned $3 out of the possible $5. And it's not like I am asking a lot out of them! NO! All I ask is that each boy once a week poop scoop the yard (YES, their Daddy & I HATE this chore so why not pawn it off on them) they each must empty the bathroom trash once a week, feed the dogs every other night and Annabelle & I feed them on Sundays, keep their bedroom floors picked up, and to make their beds every morning, shut their closet doors (why that is so difficult for boys is beyond me) and just for London, he must remember to shut his dresser drawers after getting clothes out (he got that bad habit from his Daddy! I am always going behind Dave and shutting his drawers, GRRR!). That's not a lot of chores at all!!! Easy! Or one would think so. 

Again, the first week they did everything on their chore chart and with so much enthusiasm! This last week they both didn't make their beds a couple of mornings, neither poop scoop. And Caleb had trouble keeping his floor picked up and London forgot about his drawers. So I had to make the tough decision to not pay them the whole $5. Because see, this is also about teaching them work quality and savings. I want my children to know that if you don't do your best you don't get rewarded. I want them to learn that once you have a job the better you are at your job the higher up you'll go. I also want my children to understand that scary concept of saving your money! WHAT! Saving! Money burns a damn hole in my pocket quickly then a spark in a dry Wyoming grass land! Seriously! It's the one thing I suck at! Ask my husband he sees the bank statement every month. I want my children to understand that spending $1 here or $5 there on stupid pointless things is a big fat waste of money but if you save it you can buy BIG SHINY things! I explained to them that if they earn $5 every week then in 5 months they could have $100 bucks! $100!!!! HOLY SHIT! That's a ton of MONEY even for me a 30 year old woman! My little guy's eyes got HUGE! Lots of shiny or I guess I should say electronic things started dancing infront of their eyes! It's me who sees shiny sparkly things. 

It broke their little hearts when they found out they were only getting $3 bucks for this last week, but tough LOVE babies, tough love! It sucks to take and it sucks big balls to dish out as parents! But we only have 18 years, well, more like really 13 years cause kids really don't understand much of this crazy world till they're about 5 years old, so we as parents have about 13 years to turn these hell on feet into little people who can function on their own and manage to feed themselves, have shelter, and transportation. Cause lets face it, no one wants a 30 year old child living with them. I want to be able to bang my husband again on the kitchen table one day or walk naked again through my house. 

So my chore method is our method to teach them many of life's lessons. And to also get out of some of the more shitter chores around the house. And you can bet your sweet booties that when these kids get a little older, cleaning the toilet, doing dishes, and dusting will find their way onto their chore charts! 

Shower Time Brings Out My Inner Navy Seal

Shower time brings out my inner Navy Seal. The planning, the training, the organizing, and the ability to fly by the seat of my pants.
It all starts the moment my eyes open in the morning, no I'm not talking about a shower then, are you kidding me my kids have an internal alarm that sounds the second I wake up alerting them they need "something" and Mom has to be the "one" to get it. So, ya, NEVER a shower in the morning. I'm talking about the PLANNING of the shower.
While, I wake up the older ones to get ready for school I am thinking of all I need to do that day and if it requires me to be shower clean or just add more deodorant clean. Once that is decided either the day gets more planning or super easy, well as easy as it can be with 4 kids.
 Now, onto the the kitchen to start breakfast which always wakes up the toddler so while I'm changing her diaper I'm outlining my outfit for the day, either an actual outfit with jewelry, make-up, hair (the whole nine yards) or just yoga pants and t-shirt. Again, this decision either requires more of a detail planning or just a ponytail holder.
Now everyone is fed and off to school and dressed. So I'm on to feeding the baby and dressing him. And this always takes a while! Finally, his belly is full and what do you know he is content and in his bouncer and Annabelle is wrapped up in the Mickey Mouse world, HERE'S MY CHANCE!
I quietly stand up, she hasn't notice, score! I walk on my tip toes out of the frontroom avoiding the squeaky spot on the floor. WHEW! I made to the Hallway! I quickly dash into my room and strip off my pjs and lay out a pair of jeans, cameo and shirt. I have only seconds before she realizes I'm missing and will demand my attention! I move into position and must decide vent or no vent? Vent on, she hears and KNOWS! No Vent, gives me a few more minutes of shower time... NO VENT? What the hick I'll live dangerously and pray God will keep the humidity down. DUTY TIME! In the shower I go. This is the moment I have been waiting for and planning for and it has arrived. My inner Navy Seal is jumping up & down with glee our hard work is paying off!
I made it through shampooing, conditioning, and washing but only got one leg shaved before she found me! BUSTED! I turn off the water and that's when I hear the Baby crying and as I look at my sweet daughter's angel face I know she has made sure the baby wasn't content anymore for my punishment of abandoning her and taking a shower without her. She made sure I would pay!
I go the rest of the day with one smooth leg and one leg of a bear. But again, my inner Navy Seal says "Suck it up!"
I go get the Baby and calm him down, so here I am naked standing in my bathroom brushing my teeth with a baby on my hip and a toddler playing in the lotion I just used... whatever, she is lotioning my feet, and with winter over and soon to be summer my feet need some good lotioning. Ok, GOD, please let the Baby be happy for 20 minutes so I can finish getting ready! I swear I can do it in 20 minutes! Just let him be content.
READY! SET! GO!
Lay the Baby on the bed, and move into auto-pilot, clothes on! All while, dancing and singing and waving my hands to entertain the Baby. Thank goodness there are no video cameras in our room or else I'd be admitted in the looney bin.
WAIT! WHAT! You're hungry! AGAIN! Kingston I just fed you and now my hair is going to dry and and I'll have to re-wet it and....ok! OK! I'll go make the bottle.
Twenty-five minutes and a new shirt later cause the other one is now sporting the spit-up perfume, all 3 of us are back in the bathroom. Annabelle standing on the toilet playing with all my make-up on the counter and the Baby on the floor probably thanking God he is a boy and not a girl. I re-wet my hair and throw it up in towel. Make-up time... NO! Annabelle! Do not get my make-up brushes wet! GRRR!
Finally, got my "face" on all while wiggling my booty around and singing to keep the now fussy tired baby entertain. Ten more minutes is all I need to do my hair.
I have natural curly hair and require lots of products so once all that is on I can begin blowing drying and styling. Anyway, you get the point, I finally get my hair fixed and I look down and notice the Baby is sound asleep on the rug lolled to sleep by the hum of the blow dryer I just used. Whatever, my inner Navy Seal is screaming at me "fly by the seat remember?" I grab a clean towel cover him up, and notice Annabelle has ninja her way out of the bathroom without me noticing. Hmm! That's never good!
I find her in my room spraying numerous different perfumes on her. GAG! She smells worse than a whore house! GAG! GAG! I grab a pair of earrings, bracelet, and my shoes. Go out in the hall and take a deep breath of non-whore house air and hold it in while running back into my room to grab her and realize I can't bathe her, the Baby is asleep in the bathroom...Kitchen sink it is. My inner Navy Seal is happy with the quick thinking. And the Mommy in me is happy the baby is sleeping.
25 minutes later, Annabelle is bathed, (whore house smell gone) in clean clothes, shoes and jacket on. Now to wake the baby and put him in the carseat so we can go!
And we are out the door!
Mission Complete!

1 Week Done - 6.8 Pounds Down

Well, I did it! I made it through the first week of my, cough-cough, new lifestyle change! I really hate those words! But they are so much better than saying going on a diet, because going on means at some point you'll be going off. And, I do NOT want to ever be this overweight again! So here it is - I have lost a total of 6.8 pounds in one week! YAY!!! Go ME!!! Happy Happy Happy Dance! Now here's my confession... I didn't exercise at all! Terrible! Shame on me!!! Well, HELLO!!! I gave up all my sugars! I was in a suger low shock!!! I lost all my "terrible" energy aka a sugar-high and now I am figuring out how to handle this new healthy energy. Well, I will when it comes! I am not going to lie, I miss my sugars! But I am super happy with the weight loss! I can really see it already! And now this second week, I really have to get my "fat girl" mind centered and accept the fact I DO HAVE TO exercise! And yes, the thought of fat belly and big boobs jiggling and bouncing for all to see as I run, ok, ok, that's a lie; as I jog, ok, ok, that's a lie too; as I walk really fast. And I will make time in my mornings to get on that damn scary elliptical at least for 30 minutes 5 days a week, wait! WHAT! 5 freaking days a week! WHOA! Maybe once I get more into this whole exercise world I'll be able to do that damn machine 5 days a week. But I am still an overweight gal and I would like to see my children grow up so I don't plan on killing over, I'll promise you that I will do it 3 days a week! YAY! My outer fat girl is happy and my inner skinny girl is too. Neither want me to die of a heart attack from over doing it.
Ok, here's the plan: continue with the low sugar intake, continue with drinking lots of water & 3 glasses of milk a day, continue with the low calorie intake, and add in speed walking with my dog Nora in the evenings, and add in the elliptical 3 days a week.
Maybe one day my outer fat girl and inner skinny girl could become a middle happy woman!

We Need A New Tooth Fairy, Ours Sucks!

I should start off by saying I HATE HATE HATE the whole teeth loosing process! It absolutely grossed me out when it was my own teeth falling out! I still have nightmares, no lie, about loosing teeth! DISGUSTING!!! And now I must go through this whole mess with each of my children!
Teeth! They are so cute and adorable when your little bundle of joy starts to get them! We take pictures and brag about how many teeth they have. Ok, but ya, the whole teething, up in the middle of the night, throwing up, pure brown water flowing out their cute little bums causing really bad diaper rashes; that whole part SUCKS big time! And, damn it, I still have one kid left to take me down that oh so fun road! What JOY! But when your child comes running to you so happy and bouncing all over the place with his fingers in his mouth screaming, "MOM! Feel this! Feel this! It's loose!" a nightmare begins! And for God's sake! Don't feel it!!!! For weeks and sometimes months, YES MONTHS, those once cute lil teeth start hanging by just a strand and wiggle every time your child talks, and meal time is now a struggle to keep your food down while watching and listening to your child eat with that now loose tooth. And of course they want you to touch it... thank GOD, for Dave, that's his department. I run away faster than a teenage girl chasing after Justin Bieber! Should I probably seek help for this, ya, probably, but come on we all need therapy! And anyone who says they don't, well, they're just a big ole bag of screwed up. But back to teeth. When our first tooth was lost in our home, it was our oldest son's, and of course Dave was deployed! Geez! He gets out of a lot! I think that was about the only time the Tooth Fairy did her job right and on time!
When the Tooth Fairy is on time and sometimes, ok, most of the time, it's at 5AM cause I have shot awake cause my Mommy instincts are telling me I forgot something, so course I do what any Mom does at 5AM, I punch Dave and tell him we forgot the TOOTH, and then I roll over and go back to dreaming of spas and beaches... ok! ok! I know and you know I am not dreaming of that, but I am a married woman and it's not right to discuss my not involved husband dreams. But there has now been two times, YES two times the Tooth Fairy has completely forgotten our house! And both times it was on our oldest son! The first time was so sad! Caleb's big blue eyes were filled with disappointment! But we winged it and yes we suck but hey, like I've said before, Caleb is our test out child! So that morning when Dave opened the door to go to work, mysteriously, money fell out! And we told Caleb the Tooth Fairy was probably scared of Nora, our big Great Pyrenees. He bought it! Or he knows it's us and is smart enough to stay quiet so the money keeps flowing in. But then we FORGOT again! YES! AGAIN! We don't learn once, it takes us a couple of times to really learn our lesson. And if I am being honest, it won't be the last time we forget either, we are just those kinds of parents; we aren't perfect. But we were saved, cause for whatever reason in Kansas we had a Spring ice storm two nights ago when the Tooth Fairy was suppose to come, but she or he (London thinks the Tooth Fairy is a man) slept the night away in dreamland. And again, Caleb, was sad, but he agreed the weather was just too bad for the Tooth Fairy to be out in. SCORE for Mother Nature! So last night the Tooth Fairy was on top of his/her game! They had a note printed out on bright orange paper covered in fairy dust! It read:

Dear Caleb,

      I am so terribly sorry I was unable to make it to your house last night to retrieve your tooth. The weather was bad and the ice falling from the sky made it impossible for me to fly. I did attempt it a couple times but my wings kept freezing over in ice making me fall FAST to the ground! I have a couple bruises and am pretty sore today. For your sadness I am giving you $3 extra dollars! I hope you enjoy it! Again, I apologize for not making it! Also, could you & siblings do me a favor for all lost future teeth in your home? Could you leave your teeth in your stripped tooth pillow on the counter in the Kitchen, it makes it so much easier for me, as, here is the secret, I come into your home through the dryer! Shhhh! You can tell this secret to your siblings but no one else!

Happy tooth losing!

Love,

Tooth Fairy

And she/he left him $5! And as you can tell, I am trying to make our job, umm, the Tooth Fairy's job easier by having them leave their teeth in the Kitchen instead of under their pillow, so you know, we can have a visual reminder! And ya, you read that right our Tooth Fairy comes in through our dryer vent. And this morning I learned, courtesy from London, that he/she is about 2 feet tall, so it's a pretty dang tight fit but what the hell, I'll go along with it. And I will say the paper and money covered in "fairy dust" was a fail! London plain as day said, "Strange, he put glitter on your money and letter, and I'm pretty sure that is our glitter from up there." So ya!!! That was a big FAIL! 

And to think we still have YEARS & YEARS & YEARS of the Tooth Fairy coming into our home through our dryer! Oh! YA! Life on Planet Mom can't wait!   

I don't want to be fat NO MORE!

I have struggle with weight problems since having my first child 8 years ago. It didn't help that 11 months 1 week exactly after giving birth to our first child I was giving birth to our second child! Yup! The baby belly didn't have a chance! But now that my baby making days are over I have decided to finally do something about my weight. I started my "lifestyle change" on Saturday April 6th weighing 210.8 pounds! WHOA! I cannot believe I just told the world my weight! Not even my driver's license has the correct weight! I am waiting for the bolt of lighting to come strike me for breaking being a woman rule number one, NEVER TELL ANYONE YOUR WEIGHT! Well, I just did! I know I am not the only Mom with this struggle!
I know I need help with losing the weight. So I did a little research and came across 'Pure Cambogia Extract' and decided to try it. I ordered 3 months worth of pills for $98. This pills are 100% natural! I have been amazed with how well they work without all the bad side effects of diet pills. I weighed myself this morning and I am down to 205.2!!!
I am the biggest SUGAR LOVER there is! I love sugar! And donuts!!!! Donuts covered in frosting, coated in sprinkles!!! But no more! I am so proud of myself, I made these wonderful looking cinnamon rolls yesterday for my family and I haven't eaten a single one! GO ME! My goal weight is 160 pounds. I know I will never be that super skinny girl I was at 19 wearing a size 3. And I am ok with that. I have carried and made 4 babies! Of course my body has changed! I want to get healthier so I can be more active in my children's lives as well as be around to see them have grandchildren.
So far my exercise has consisted of nothing, but I plan on walking my dog, Nora, in the evenings after tucking the kids into bed. Don't freak! Dave will be home with them. I also have this gym grade elliptical in my basement I bought 2 years ago and have yet to use. So me and that scary machine are going to get to know one another, hopefully I don't die after 5 minutes of using it.
Life on planet Mom is going to be shedding some pounds!

This is me, this is who I am

Hello! I am Faith, a 30 year old woman (yes, I did allow myself to turn the dreaded 30!), Mother to 4 children, Caleb, London, Annabelle, & Kingston; 3 boys & 1 girl. I married the love of my life in 2004. He, Dave, is a great source to my insanity. We live in my hometown in Kansas. I decided to start this blog because for starters who in today's society doesn't have a blog and well, with 4 children ages 8-infant, a husband, & 2 dogs in my life there is a lot of entertainment to be had! You remember the old show "Everybody Loves Raymond" and how his parents lived right next door to them, well, my parents are our neighbors! Poor husband, right, the in-laws right next door! It seems to work for us, though. Although, my Mom did just walk in on my husband pooping with the bathroom door open! Funny, right!

I am a pretty modern Mom learning as I go. Caleb, our oldest, is our test everything out on child, but isn't that the case with all eldest. We are great pros at parenting for our youngest and newest son, (seeing as we had 3 test babies before him), Kingston, he is just 3 months old. So far our children have turned out pretty well, yes, that is me patting myself on the back! This parenting gig is rough at times. For example, this morning I received the always fun phone call from the Principle (let me say I really do like my children's principle but it's never good to see the Elementary School is calling it either means A)your child is sick or B)your child is in the oh so scary Principle office) anyways the phone call has now resulted in my husband & I having to sit our 8 year old down and having the sex talk tonight! I have been looking for a big rock to hide under all morning! The SEX TALK! Eight years old! When I was eight I was playing with barbies! Kids now-a-days! It's not so much S!E!X!, but more this is your body parts and this is a girl's body parts, but still my face is already 50 shades of red! Believe me that will be it's on blog post! 

Not only am I busy non-stop except from 1-3 in the afternoon cause I clock out and nap! Naps are a vital necessity to any Mother, or at least this Mother if my family wants to live in a happy harmony, or just live period! Anyways, I have started a "lifestyle change" oh who I am kidding, I just want to have the body back that I had at 19 when I thought I was fat, HA!!!!!! I will be doing blogs about my weight loss and how much I miss my beloved sprinkle coated donuts! And how much I hate exercise! 

I should mention my son, London, will be a huge source of your entertainment as this child really does say the darnest things!  And is my child that test all corners of parenthood! It's a good thing God gave him these big brown eyes that melt a person's heart or else his life spam would be short lived (just kidding). But seriously, he will be the child that gives me grey hairs but yet, again no one will ever know it cause I will die with dyed hair! 

And with the one daughter, let's face it, she's spoiled! PINK everything! I'm trying my hardest to install anything and everything girly into her before I lose her to her brothers and Daddy, which will happen, I  am not that stupid, she'll be a tom-boy, and yes, I will love her to pieces as I still try to force her into dresses instead of gym shorts!

Now we are to the youngest, our big SURPRISE BABY! OOPS! Did that test really just show 2 pink lines! Well, shit! It did! And now we have our Kingston! I couldn't imagine my life without him, but he is the LAST baby that will be coming out of my vagina! I made sure of that when I sent the hubby off to get snipped when The King (yes that's what I call Kingston) was only 5 weeks old! This boy is so different from my other children, but yet again I think it's cause Dave & I treat him differently. We know he is the last and we are treating him as such. Stay a BABY! Dang it! 

So as you see this is me, this is who I am. Stick around and enjoy my life on planet mom!