Teeth! They are so cute and adorable when your little bundle of joy starts to get them! We take pictures and brag about how many teeth they have. Ok, but ya, the whole teething, up in the middle of the night, throwing up, pure brown water flowing out their cute little bums causing really bad diaper rashes; that whole part SUCKS big time! And, damn it, I still have one kid left to take me down that oh so fun road! What JOY! But when your child comes running to you so happy and bouncing all over the place with his fingers in his mouth screaming, "MOM! Feel this! Feel this! It's loose!" a nightmare begins! And for God's sake! Don't feel it!!!! For weeks and sometimes months, YES MONTHS, those once cute lil teeth start hanging by just a strand and wiggle every time your child talks, and meal time is now a struggle to keep your food down while watching and listening to your child eat with that now loose tooth. And of course they want you to touch it... thank GOD, for Dave, that's his department. I run away faster than a teenage girl chasing after Justin Bieber! Should I probably seek help for this, ya, probably, but come on we all need therapy! And anyone who says they don't, well, they're just a big ole bag of screwed up. But back to teeth. When our first tooth was lost in our home, it was our oldest son's, and of course Dave was deployed! Geez! He gets out of a lot! I think that was about the only time the Tooth Fairy did her job right and on time!
When the Tooth Fairy is on time and sometimes, ok, most of the time, it's at 5AM cause I have shot awake cause my Mommy instincts are telling me I forgot something, so course I do what any Mom does at 5AM, I punch Dave and tell him we forgot the TOOTH, and then I roll over and go back to dreaming of spas and beaches... ok! ok! I know and you know I am not dreaming of that, but I am a married woman and it's not right to discuss my not involved husband dreams. But there has now been two times, YES two times the Tooth Fairy has completely forgotten our house! And both times it was on our oldest son! The first time was so sad! Caleb's big blue eyes were filled with disappointment! But we winged it and yes we suck but hey, like I've said before, Caleb is our test out child! So that morning when Dave opened the door to go to work, mysteriously, money fell out! And we told Caleb the Tooth Fairy was probably scared of Nora, our big Great Pyrenees. He bought it! Or he knows it's us and is smart enough to stay quiet so the money keeps flowing in. But then we FORGOT again! YES! AGAIN! We don't learn once, it takes us a couple of times to really learn our lesson. And if I am being honest, it won't be the last time we forget either, we are just those kinds of parents; we aren't perfect. But we were saved, cause for whatever reason in Kansas we had a Spring ice storm two nights ago when the Tooth Fairy was suppose to come, but she or he (London thinks the Tooth Fairy is a man) slept the night away in dreamland. And again, Caleb, was sad, but he agreed the weather was just too bad for the Tooth Fairy to be out in. SCORE for Mother Nature! So last night the Tooth Fairy was on top of his/her game! They had a note printed out on bright orange paper covered in fairy dust! It read:
Dear
Caleb,
I am so terribly sorry I was unable to
make it to your house last night to retrieve your tooth. The weather was bad
and the ice falling from the sky made it impossible for me to fly. I did
attempt it a couple times but my wings kept freezing over in ice making me fall
FAST to the ground! I have a couple bruises and am pretty sore today. For your
sadness I am giving you $3 extra dollars! I hope you enjoy it! Again, I
apologize for not making it! Also, could you & siblings do me a favor for
all lost future teeth in your home? Could you leave your teeth in your stripped
tooth pillow on the counter in the Kitchen, it makes it so much easier for me,
as, here is the secret, I come into your home through the dryer! Shhhh! You can
tell this secret to your siblings but no one else!
Happy
tooth losing!
Love,
Tooth
Fairy
And she/he left him $5! And as you can tell, I am trying to make our job, umm, the Tooth Fairy's job easier by having them leave their teeth in the Kitchen instead of under their pillow, so you know, we can have a visual reminder! And ya, you read that right our Tooth Fairy comes in through our dryer vent. And this morning I learned, courtesy from London, that he/she is about 2 feet tall, so it's a pretty dang tight fit but what the hell, I'll go along with it. And I will say the paper and money covered in "fairy dust" was a fail! London plain as day said, "Strange, he put glitter on your money and letter, and I'm pretty sure that is our glitter from up there." So ya!!! That was a big FAIL!
And to think we still have YEARS & YEARS & YEARS of the Tooth Fairy coming into our home through our dryer! Oh! YA! Life on Planet Mom can't wait!
glad to know I am not the only mom whose kids do not put teeth under the pillows where they sleep! We have a silver "tooth fairy box" thast sits in our kitchen. So as soon as they go to bed, the toothfairy does her job.
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